Two Nybbles make a Byte
by KamiKitty
Summary: (ZADR) Stuff happens. STUFF happens. (M for good reason) (Smut)
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: If you just want the good stuff it's Chapter 4.

Disclaimer: I don't own Invader Zim or any of it's characters. (there are no OC's in this fic as of this moment)

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"Zim?" Dib's voice was piercing, cutting through the quiet in his bed room.

"Yes, it is the great Zim, earth-thing," came Zim's harsh reply. He crouched next to Dib's bed side, the lekku atop his head scewed in an almost pondering gesture.

"What are you doing in my bedroom?" Dib asked, sitting up and grabbing his glasses to slide them on and look at the alien.

Zim only stared, his large red eyes boring into the Earth-boys skull.

There was a long moment of near silence.

It had been a while since Dib had even seen Zim. A month and a half, actually, and while Dib was pleased to not chase him around constantly his days had grown wearily boring.

"I'm sorry for this... Dib dip-stick," the Irken muttered nearly too low for Dib to hear.

"Wha-?" Dib went to ask but was quickly shut up as Zim clapped a rag over his mouth with an intoxicating chemical smell. Dib struggled for what felt like ages, trying to kick Zim away from him or anything, but the Irken was still the Irken, and still had the strength to hold him down long enough for the chemicals to do their magic.

Dib went still after a long moment and stared blankly at the ceiling.

"How do you feel?" Zim asked.

"Why are their butterflies in my head?" Dib asked.

Zim rolled his eyes. "Good enough." He took Dib up in his arms and lithely jumped through the window, using metal legs to their full utility.

A long scurry took them to Zim's base where he quietly opened the door and brought Dib inside.

Gir was one the couch watching that mindless angry monkey show as Zim slipped past to the kitchen and down the elevator.

Dib was starting to squirm in his arms and managed to get a well placed hand in one of Zim's eyes.

"Gah-" Zim snarled. "You useless filth." He rubbed at the tearing eye. "I don't know why I'm even bothering to take care of you."

"But there's butterflies..." Dib mumbled. "Should take care... of butterflies." Dib trailed in and out of being able to use words, only half awake. He started to dose off.

"No, _Dib_. You can't sleep now." Zim kicked him hard enough to get a pained groan out of the boy.

The elevator finally descended down into the lab and Zim grabbed Dib under his arms and dragged him out of the shaft and over to an operating table and hefted him up.

Dib fell limply onto the cold metal surface and hissed at the feeling of chill against his bare skin.

"What's... going... on?" he asked weakly.

"Your drugs are wearing off, Dib-stink so cooperate so I can get this done." He forcefully rolled Dib onto his stomach and lowered the table to be easily workable.

"What're you talking about, Ziiim?"

Zim shook his head. "Insolent fool," he grumbled.

"You're the... insolent one," Dib started to drift off into sleep again just to let out a pained cry as Zim yanked his hair up.

"Zim?" he snapped, finally coming back to his senses. "Whe- what am I doing in your lab?" he asked and started squirming, trying to get Zim off of him.

"Don't struggle and _maybe_ I'll make this less painful for you," Zim snarled and pushed Dib's head into the metal.

"Zim! Let me up!" Dib tried even harder to get away but couldn't quite manage to throw the Irken off of him.

Zim growled which finally exploded into a harsh order. " _Computer! Hold the Earth-boy down until I finish this_."

"Right away," the computer quickly complied and several metal clamps came from the ceiling to hold Dib and his big head down against the metal table.

Zim quickly grabbed a laser cutter from his PAK and pushed the hair away from Dib's neck.

"Whatever you're doing, you won't get away with it, Zim. I'll stop you and you'll never get away with it," Dib started yelling. "And... you just won't get away with it," Dib repeated himself and continued to do so.

With practiced precision, Zim made a small cut on Dib's neck, verticle to his vertebrae and carefully used another tool from his PAK to extract a small chip, no bigger than a thumbtack from the muscles there.

"Earth will win, Zim. Earth always wins and you never lose- I mean win. You never win."

"Shut _up_ , you filthy earth-monkey," Zim snapped and took a different chip, this one clearly Irken, purple with the alien insignia on it, and shoved it into the skin where the other had just been removed.

A new tool from his PAK came and sealed the incision closed.

The computer released Dib, who promptly kicked Zim off of him and leaped from the table, turning to face the Irken.

"What did you do to me, Zim?" he yelled.

Zim crossed his arms. "You could show some gratitude," he grumbled.

"For _what_?" Dib snapped. "What did you do?"

With an evil looking grin, Zim held out the chip he'd just extracted from Dib's neck. "Just removed this from your body," he said.

Dib stared at it. "Why?"

"Because. I felt like it." Zim wrapped his fingers around it and squeezed until he felt the material give way with a cracking sound.

"What was that?" Dib asked and reached up to feel the incision on the back of his neck but only found smooth, flawless skin.

"A tracking chip the Skool puts in all their students." The Irken tossed the pieces aside. "But you won't be needing that anymore."

"I know I graduated but why did you remove it?" Dib asked and continued to try and find the incision on the back of his neck.

"Zim needs to take good care not to have his property stolen," Zim stated rather blatantly and walked over to a computer monitor. "Now, we should probably check your vitals, shall we?" He started typing in something.

"Huh?" Dib asked, finally stopping his rubbing. "Why would you want to know that?"

"Trust me," Zim said, once again giving Dib an evil smirk. "You don't want to know."


	2. Chapter 2

Dib was miserable. Zim had him in an almost literal cage, the only exception being instead of metal bars or wire, there was a flat holographic plane that shocked him if he tried to touch or pass through it.

"Whatever your plan is, I will stop you," he shouted as the Irken entered the room.

Zim stopped and gave him a questioning glare. "Nonsense, fool-boy. What can you do while you're in _there_ and I'm out _here_." Zim laughed evilly and went on his work, carrying some alien technology to a work table on the other side of the room.

"What do you need me for?" Dib stood to be as close to the barrier of his cage without getting zapped by it as possible.

"That's none of your concern," Zim growled and left the room again, returning a minute later with more equipment.

"How is that not my concern?"

"It isn't, Dib-stink." The invader put his equipment down before pulling the wires and tubes apart and slowly piecing it together.

Dib stared at his back while he worked. "I've got to find a way out of here," he mumbled.

"Don't even bother Dib-stink. I designed that cage myself. There is no escape. Not even for you and your big head." Zim triumphantly held up an assembled piece of whatever weird device he was working on.

The glimpses Dib got made it look like a PAK much like the one Zim was wearing.

"the only way it doesn't fry something, is if it's something that would kill you. Cause I need you alive."

"Something that would kill me?" Dib muttered, questioningly.

"Yes. It's important for me to be able to use you," Zim went on. "And you killing yourself trying to escape wouldn't be very smart." Zim chuckled. "Such genius is Zim."

"Your crazy," Dib told him and experimentally touched his forehead to the barrier, bracing for a zap, but didn't receive one.

"Zim is not crazy!" Zim declared. "You are the crazy one, Dib; thinking you and your _pathetic_ earth-monkeys can stop me. At least I am not the insolent-" Zim was cut off as he turned to face the cage, finding it empty. " _Oh you little._ " He kicked the table he'd been working on. "Computer, find the big-headed huuuuman."

" _Right away_."

"Oooooh, Dib. You're being such a pain. That'll just make it better later though." The Irken licked his teeth. "YOU ARE MINE, DIB-STINK!" He cried out to the depths of his lab.

Dib huddled underneath one of Zim's lab tables way in the back. Keeping himself in the shadows. He could hear the Irken talking, and screaming. And he knew his chances of getting out of here were slim. But he had to at least try. The fate of the Earth depended on it!

He was trying to work out his plan when a metallic claw grabbed the back of his shirt and dragged him out from under the table. He struggled, trying to rip his shirt free but it was a futile effort as he was carried back to where the Irken was standing.

"Try that again, _Dib_ , and I won't be so kind," Zim said.

"Geez Zim, just let me go. What use am I to you?" Dib protested.

The claw dropped Dib and he fell to his knees.

"Your use will become apparent later. Now be a good boy and stay put while I finish this." Zim turned his back and conitnued his work on whatever device it was he was working with.

Dib stared at the Pak on Zim's back, the alien technology still new to him. And knowing it was everything the Irken needed to survive only made him all the more curious.

"There!" Zim proclaimed and picked up the deivice that was, indeed, a second PAK. "Now turn around, earth-worm." He turned to Dib, holding the pak in his claws.

"What?" Dib started to back up. "I don't want that thing on me."

The Irken rolled his eyes and turned it around, revealing a smooth metal surface. "You've seen the Irken paks, Dib-stink. This is not one of them." Zim ran his hand along the smooth surface. "Now turn around."

Dib stared at the metal contraption, still terrified of it. He'd had one of those on him before, and wasn't keen on having one on him again.

"B-but you don't want to put it on me, you know how I mess everything up," he said, chuckling nervously. He was about to make a run for it when an arm from Zim's pak grabbed him and held him down while the Irken frustratedly forced straped over his shoulders and then pulled away. Dib bolted and got several meters away before he stopped. The weight pressed on his back and he tried to turn to look at it but found himself going around in circles. "Wait a second," he said, realizing it hadn't tried to take him over. "This isn't hurting me."

"That's what I tried to tell you, Dib-stink, but you don't listen."

"I'm sorry Zim," Dib started sarcastically. "But you don't exactly have the best record of being tru- OW!" He flinched as a sharp pain split across the back of his neck. "What the?" he reached up and felt a connection between the pack and right where Zim had removed the school's chip.

"It won't take over you, no," Zim started explaining. "But it will still connect to your air-sac system you huuumans posses."

"What? Why?"

"So you can breath the atmospheres of other planets." Zim folded his arms in another discontent expression. "I am leaving Dib-stink. And I intend to bring you with me."

"Again, why?" Dib asked, rubbing at the tube coming out of his neck.

"The tallest have requested so, and so I will be so." Zim nodded approvingly. "They need my Zimness elsewhere in the universe than your rotting planet of filth."

"Yes, okay. But why take me?"

Zim stared at him. "You know why, Dib. And I'd think you'd be happier to oblige."

Dib stared at him.

"You think I haven't been watching you Dib?" Zim interrogated. "You think I would let you get off with foiling _all_ of my evil plans."

"Zim... that's a ridiculous invasion of my privacy!" Dib protested.

"Well, Dib-beast. I _am_ an invader after-all." The irken gave him a satisfied smirk. "Now, I have to go make some final preparations for the trip. You... go eat some human filth or something."

Dib stared as the Irken went. And he was stuck in that spot for a long while after he disappeared in the elevator shaft.

Sure he had fantasized about this every now and then but never expected it to happen.

He blushed again, thinking about what Zim had said, and realized exactly what Zim had seen. His private... 'happy' time... in his bedroom.


	3. Chapter 3

Zim was leaning into a crate when Dib found him.

"Hey Zim, I," Dib started but paused as the Irken righted himself and gave him a scrutinizing glare. "...was just wondering if I could help somehow."

"Help? No. The amazing Zim is fine without your pathetic, filthy _huuman_ hands on the stuff." Zim wnet back to rummaging around in the box.

"Well... when are you going to be ready?" Dib asked.

"When I'm ready, you will know." Zim said, his head still in the box.

Dib stared at him.

Zim stopped and picked his head up to stare at Dib. "Unless you needed something?"

"No... I just. I don't understand. You want me to come with you but... you hate me don't you?"

"Zim hate Dib? Yes. But your patheticism amuses me." He turned back to his box.

"Do you even understand... whatever it is you saw me doing in my bedroom?" Dib asked.

Zim stopped dead, not a muscle moving. "No..." he said slowly. "But perhaps... you could show me?" He gave Dib an evil looking grin.

"Huh?" Dib froze, deeply confused. He felt the heat rush to his face. "Zim, if you don't understand... don't you have some kind of file or something on human... but you've been here long enough surely you've come across... didn't you take health class?" He couldn't help but take a step back.

Zim's expression went blank. "Hnn?"

Dib shook. "You know... when a man loves a woman very much and they want to have some fun...?"

"But I am not a woman," Zim muttered. "Does that mean you are a woman?"

"No, Zim..." Dib rubbed his temple. "I mean... it's... it's sex Zim. Sex."

"Yes... tell Zim more about this sex. Or... you could show Zim?"

It clicked then in Dib's head. "You..." (know but you can't admit to your Irken pride you want it.) he thought. "You want me to show you?" Dib felt his blush deepen.

"Yes. You show Zim." Zim nodded and straightened himself from the box.

"Do you... have a place in mind?" Dib asked and started knotting his fingers together. He wanted this right? Like, this was something... he wanted. Right?

"Follow _Ziiim._ " The Irken led him out of the room, to the elevator and waited for Dib to step inside before stepping in himself.

It was close quarters, and Dib could feel his face still burning.

Zim contentedly leaned against the wall as the elevator moved down. It kept going down, deeper and deeper into the Earth until finally, after what felt like forever it stopped and Dib released a tense breath he'd been holding.

It was a gently purple lit room, with curved walls leading to the... bed. "I thought Irkens didn't need sleep," Dib said.

"Ehn? Sleep? Zim does not sleep," Zim said. "This is Zim's nest. Zim has... Zim's private time here- I mean Zim never uses this room for anything," Zim said quickly. "Zim doesn't understand the uses of this room."

"You just said Zim like ten times," Dib muttered and took a step out of the elevator.

"You should be grateful the name of Zim has fallen on you pathetic ear cups so many times," Zim hissed and followed him out.

"Okay..." Dib said.

He looked at the bed a long moment. It was circular, with lines of cushions on it, making a swirling pattern to the center.

Dib swallowed, a forgotten blush returning to his cheeks, hot as ever.

Zim looked at him expectantly. "Well?" he asked.

"Zim, I-" he was cut off when the Irken shoved his chest, knocking him onto the bed. "Wha-" he was cut off again as the Irken's claws pushed him down into the cushions.

"Dib is mine, Dib-beast," he growled and tugged at his shirt.


	4. Chapter 4 (Smut)

Zim continued to tug at Dib's shirt with a frustrated growl.

"Hang on, Zim," Dib protested and pushed the Irken's claws away.

Zim scowled and stared at the human beneath him.

"I have to..." Dib pushed the straps holding the pak off his shoulder and was surprised when it automatically disconnected from his neck, allowing him to easily shrug out of his shirt.

Zim continued his discontent scowl as he did so but waited as patiently as Dib thought the Irken could. He huffed, unable to help feeling a little breathy and shifted underneath the Irken, only to have one of Zim's gloved hands clap down on his bare shoulder.

The Irken leaned down and ran his serpentine tongue along Dib's jawline. Dib couldn't help but shudder at the slick feeling.

"You like Zim, yes?" Zim muttered against the soft flesh under Dib's chin.

"Yes," Dib breathed. He felt claws run down his ribcage to his hips but couldn't see as Zim was still forcing his head back.

"That's a good boy," Zim hissed and pulled at the waistband of Dib's jeans. Dib went to push them off but Zim nipped his skin, punishingly, making him flinch and stop. "Let Zim."

Dib forced himself to lay still as the Irken slowly, almost torturously yanked at his jeans until they slipped below his waist and from there pulled them the rest of the way off.

Zim chuckled and sat back for a long moment to peel his gloves off, and then his shirt and pants. Dib examined the alien body before him, never having seen it before. There were no nipples, no belly button, no visible muscles. Just a perfectly smooth body, he reached out to caress just to have his hand smacked away.

"Do not touch Zim!" came the aggressive hiss.

"But..." Dib started to protest but decided it would be best not to argue. Instead he let his eyes wander lower, to the alien's midsection. "Are you a girl?" Dib asked, without thinking about it.

The Irken tsked. "Inferior human anatomy," he grumbled. He slid his knees apart so his midsection was making contact with Dibs, making Dib blush furiously. He rubbed against Dib's hardening member before pulling away.

Any confusion Dib had was quickly dispelled as a small nub on Zim grew and expanded into what must've been the Irken equivalent.

Zim pulled away and sat back on his heels. "Roll over Dib-beast."

Dib did so, and rolled onto his stomach. He felt hands along his sides again as the Irken positioned himself behind him. Then a pause. "I almost forgot," the Irken grumbled and felt around for something to the side of the cushions. Dib couldn't see what he ultimately found but his question was quickly answered when he felt the slick feeling of lube getting rubbed around his anus.

He expected the worst, expected this to be painful but Zim somehow managed to be gentle, more than he thought the Irken could be capable of.

He could feel the member press against him before slowly sliding in. Zim waited a long moment, readjusting his knees on either side of Dib and shifting his weight onto his hands before he slowly pushed in a bit further.

Dib closed his eys, still expecting a sudden, painful movement but none came... yet.

Zim pushed in deeper before carefully pulling out. Then pushed in again. Dib sighed at the pleasant feeling of friction.

"Now then, Dib," the Irken hissed against his ear. "Where is it your pathetic _huuuman_ anatomy is the most pleasured?"

Dib took a big breath, wanting more of that delicious friction. "The prostate," he finally breathed.

"Prahs...state?" Zim asked. "I will find it," he said determinedly and carefully started maneuvering his hips around.

It didn't take long before, "Hnn," Dib gasped. "There."

"There?"

"Yes, Zim, there," Dib said a bit snappishly. His patience was thinning the more the Irken dragged this out.

"You like it when Zim touches you there, yes?" Dib could hear the grin through Zim's voice.

"Yes... I do," Dib admitted, suddenly feeling shame.

"Gooood." Zim whispered in Dib's ear before pulling away and pushing in, hitting the 'prahs-state' again.

He continued doing so, listening to Dib's breathing get more ragged as time went on. He started purring and closed his eyes, enjoying the feeling of muscle and tissue running down the length of his member, and back up again, and back down. His lekku laid back on his head and he started going faster, harder wanting more of _that_.

Dib groaned and tried to push himself up from the cushions but the Irken quickly pushed his head back down into the cushions.

"Mine," the Irken hissed.

"Zim," Dib started to whine, wanting to rub himself but the Irken was relentless.

Dib felt incredibly hot, and wet, and could feel the edge approaching and wanted nothing more than to quicken its approach.

Zim continued his pace, trrying not to go faster or harder.

"Faster," came the breathy plea.

Zim took a deep breath and obliged. He released Dib's head to support himself on the bed and let his legs slid just a little further apart to bring him closer to Dib.

Dib squeezed his eyes shut, tryin to hold on to the wonderful feelings, but it was no use and he let out a cry as he came.

Zim didn't stop, ignoring the humans gasping.

He was close, so close.

His head leaned against Dib's back as he tensed and gave a few last thrusts before he came with a loud whimper and buried his head harder against the hot skin beneath him.

He breathed heavily, feeling the feelings slip away and then very slowly pulled out and slumped onto the cushions.

Dib looked up at the panting alien next to him. He opened his mouth to say something but the irken smacked a hand over it and shushed him before wrapping that same around Dib and pulling him against his chest.

"Mine," the Irken whispered, exhaustedly. "Sleep."

Dib didn't want to sleep, he wanted to speak, to tell Zim what was going on inside him. But he knew he wouldn't listen, and he was so very tired. He let the consciousness slip from him.


	5. Chapter 5

Dib woke up feeling warm and blinked his eyes open. At some point a thick blanket had been pulled over him, for which he was grateful. The lab felt chilly without...

Well it didn't feel chilly anymore once those thoughts crossed his mind. He found himself blushing again, but didn't feel any heated embarrassment when he was alone.

He pulled the blanket around his shoulders and sat up on the bed. Last night... or was it during the day... what time was it?

There was no sign of a clock or any time telling piece for that matter.

He looked aronud and saw his clothes on the floor and reached down to pick them up and pulled his shirt over his head.

The hiss of the elevator made him look up, expecting Zim but the green skinned alien wasn't there.

" _Hey there, big-head boi_!" came a grating artificial voice right in his ear.

"Agh," Dib covered his ear. "Gir?"

" _Gir be meeee_!," the little robot hopped off the bed to stand infront of Dib. " _Mastah said to make sure you didn't die. Are you dead, big-head boi_?"

"No. I'm not dead?" Dib said.

Gir stared up at him for a long moment, " _Are you half dead_?"

"No, Gir. I'm not half dead either," Dib rolled his eyes.

" _Then why are you so pale? So paaaale_." Gir poked his leg, making Dib flinch from the cold of the metal.

"I'm pale because I'm... human or something. I don't have green skin like Zim." Dib stood and pulled on his jeans while Gir watched him, curiously. "Do you know where your master is right now?" he asked the little robot, which seemed all that smaller now that he'd grown taller.

Gir stared blankly up at him. " _You got any cupcakes_?" he asked.

"Uhm...no?" Dib frowned. He'd never tried to havre a conversation with the robot further than telling him ot take a camera or something and had never realized how annoying the little guy was.

" _How 'bout a SuckMunky_?" Gir asked.

"Uhhm...? Sure, Gir. I'll get you a SlushMonkey sometime," Dib said and looked around, but there was nothing else in the room other than the bed so he had little choice other than going up the elevator.

He headed for it, leaving Gir in an overly-excited state behind him.

The elevator didn't move.

"Uhhhh... Elevator? Take me to Zim," he said, trying to remember how Zim treated his computer.

Apparently it was 'good enough' because it started moving upwards and stopped again after going up all the way through the base to the attic.

Dib glanced around before stepping out of the elevator. At first glance, he thought the computer was wrong and Zim wasn't there, until he the Irken's boots sticking out of the cock pit of the voot cruiser.

"Hey, Zim," Dib said, making the Irken flinch and hit his head on something, triggering an onslaught of alien curses.

"What is it, worm-baby?" he asked in a low growl, glaring at Dib with such hatred.

"... you know, now that you mention it, there was nothing in particular," Dib told him, and also himself. "But I don't have anything to do anyways so I guess I'm back to asking if there's anything I could help with."

Zim continued to glare at him before sighing. "You're getting to be as annoying as Gir." He looked around at the surrounding clutter in the attic. Piles of crates and other storage looking things were laying about. "Actually... Go and find some of the Earth-filth you call food. As much as I hate to admit it..." Zim shuddered. "You will have to be fed and I'd much rather avoid handling any of that _dirt_ that you lower-intelligence beings consume."

It was then that the realization of what was about to happen hit Dib. "Wait... so how long until I'll get back to earth?"

"As long as it takes, Dib-beast." Zim ducked down to continue working on whatever he was working on.

Dib decided that was going to have to be a good enough answer for the moment. Zim appeared to be quite preoccupied, not to mention how unpleasant he was being.

Then again Zim was always unpleasant.

Dib went back down the elevator.

Yes. Zim _was_ always that unpleasant. Even... last night or whenever that was, he'd been overly controlling, though that might've just been what he got off on.

Dib bit his lip, not wanting to think he was entering a bad relationship, an abusive one even. Then again, nobody else in the world ever expressed anything remotely like companionship toward Dib in any way... so maybe if Zim was going to be a grating pain in his ass (quite literally) it would probably be better than spending every day doing little else than obsess over Zim and his fellow paranormal occurrences.

Besides... he always wanted to see space... that didn't involve Zim trying to remove his organs, the Earth exploding or being taken for weasel experiments.

The elevator stopped in Zim's living room.

Dib walked past Gir again watching the Angry Monkey show and opened the door. It was dark outside, meaning either everything had happened very quickly or at least a full day had passed. But Dib still didn't know what time it was.

He had a very simple mission: find food and bring it to Zim.


	6. Chapter 6 (Franken Chokies Part 1)

_Author's note: Aww. you guys are so sweet, left such nice reviews._

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Dib had to decide what exactly to bring to Zim. He had a feeling his alien counterpart had a plan for whatever food he brought.

It would also be a good idea for him to find something that he wouldn't mind eating every meal for quite a while.

He walked down the sidewalk and kicked a _Poop_ can into the street.

So... probably something that wouldn't cause sickness in large quantities.

"Maybe... pizza?" Dib pondered to himself. "No, no. Too much cheese. Hella not Dee-licious Weenies. That would kill me. Hmm... maybe just some fresh food. No!" He shook his head. "God no. I can't live without _any_ junk food... this sucks." He stopped and looked around the neighborhood. If he kept walking this way, he'd eventually reach the city.

"Screw it. I'll find a box of _Franken Chokies_." Dib huffed and started off toward the city, or more specifically, a supermarket in the city.

The night wasn't particularly unusual, though it felt very different. "...because of Zim." Dib tsked. "What is he playing at? He couldn't want a real relationship with me. He detests that kind of thing... at the same time... he did seem to like..." he felt his cheeks heat up. "I've got to stop thinking about that... and I've got to stop talking to myself."

The supermarket wasn't busy. Dib assumed it was late at night, though he still had no idea other than it was late enough to be dark outside.

He walked past a group of stoning teenagers in the parking lot and immediately headed toward the cereal aisle and looked through the hundreds of boxes of mass produced breakfast flakes and Wheati'Os.

" _Count Cocoafang_..." Dib muttered, passing the boxes of the cereal, then stopped. "What the hell?" In front of him were empty shelves. "Where's the _Franken Chokies_?"

He walked down the rest of the aisle, wondering if some stupid high school dropout had simply stuck them somewhere they didn't go, but he had no such luck.

He walked down the length of the aisle one last time just to be sure.

"Well, this is stupid," he grumbled. "I finally decided on something and I can't get it."

He crossed his arm a moment, glaring angrily at the empty shelf before he walked back to the front of the store.

"Excuse me," he asked the cashier.

"How may I help you?" she asked in a tired, disinterested voice, and continued to examine her nail polish.

"Do you have any _Franken_ _Chokies_ cereal?" Dib asked, trying not to be annoyed at her blatantly nonexistent work-ethic.

She stopped looking at her nails, her head snapping to look at Dib.

"What have you seen?" she asked, her voice trembling.

"What?" Dib frowned, confused.

"Come with me," she grabbed his wrist and pulled him around the cash registers to a back room.

"Wait, what's going on?" Dib pulled at his hand.

She shut the door behind her and glanced around the dim break lounge nervously. "What have you seen?" she whispered to him.

"...there weren't any _Franken_ _Chokies_ in the cereal aisle?" Dib told her, very confused about what was going on.

"Shhh. We don't talk about that here."

".. you just asked me..." Dib decided not to pursue it.

"Strange things happen to those who know," the girl said.

"Know about what?" Dib was starting to think this girl had gone completely crazy.

"About the Cereal Killer," she breathed, quieter than ever.

"The Cereal... oh." It suddenly became clear to him. The Cereal Killer was the newest and stupidest addition to the field of paranormal study. "Please, it's just a guy who buys a lot of cereal," he protested against her fear and insanity, gesturing with his arm to exaggerate his point.

"Yes... a guy who buys a lot of cereal from shops, whose employees then suffer horrible tragedy." She shook, quite clearly scared out of her mind.

Dib stared at her. "Are you sure there's no _Franken_ _Chokies_ left?" he asked, just wanting to move on at this point.

She struggled to keep herself together but managed to put together another sentence. "If you want the _Franken_ _Chokies_ , you'll have to find... _it_."

" _It_? Well... where can I find it?" Dib couldn't help but feel gypped that the cereal he was planning on eating for an uncertain amount of time, possibly even the rest of his life, was all stolen away by some guy who had some kind of compulsion to buy all of the cereal every now and then.

"I've hear rumors," she said and shuddered before looking around again. "They say he lives on the north side of town, in a house falling over from the weight of a thousand empty boxes."

"Right... okay. I'll go see if I can find this... cereal killer," Dib told her and slowly backed away, kind of afraid to make any sudden movements.

"You will most surely _die_ ," she hissed.


	7. Chapter 7 (Franken Chokies Part 2)

It was _still_ dark out and not getting any brighter, so Dib had to assume it actually was in the middle of the night. Not that it mattered much. He was awake.

He couldn't help but think about Zim while he was walking to the north side of town.

Zim had asked him (forced him) to travel with him to go conquer some other planet. Did he really want to though? Even as he asked himself that he knew the answer was yes. Of course he _wanted_ to. Even if Zim was quite dominating and controlling Dib couldn't help liking his company. But that didn't mean he wanted to leave Earth or possibly even betray some other planet's intelligent lifeforms.

At the same time... Zim was... everything, wasn't he.

And who knew what chaos he'd bring back with him if Dib wasn't there to monitor him.

So it made perfectly rational and logical sense for Dib to go with him.

"Gee, Dib," he muttered to himself. "You can't just be happy for once in your life can you? Everything has to be for some other reason." He sighed.

It wasn't long before he found the house. Or at least he had put his faith that this was the right house, but judging by the overflowing recycling bin of cereal boxes, and the fact the house _was_ tipping over, it had to be the right place.

It was at this moment Dib realized, again, that he had no idea what time it was and people didn't tend to appreciate getting disturbed at two or three in the morning.

But screw it all he'd wasted enough time simply trying to find some Franken Chokies.

"Is it really worth all this effort?" he asked himself as he was walking up to the front door.

There was a long moment he hesitated, looking at the doorbell before ringing it and hearing the chime from inside.

There was something certainly very eerie feeling about it all. It was silent all around, shadows moved inside the house, and there wasn't much 'natural' about a person eating that much cereal.

Maybe this was some kind of paranormal beast.

Dib shivered as a chill wind blew through his hair.

There were footsteps form inside before the door opened and a young man looked Dib up and down.

"May I help you?" he asked.

"I'm looking for a box of Franken Chokies," Dib said and suddenly realized how ridiculous it sounded.

The guy stared him down. He was fully dressed and didn't look as if he'd been very disturbed by Dib's request.

"Come in," he said and slid back into the darkness of the house.

Dib glanced around what he could see of the interior before he followed. There wasn't much to see. The house looked mostly barren. He followed the man, the 'cereal killer,' into the home.

"You're lucky you showed up when you did. I've got one box left," the man explained.

"Yeah?" Dib asked, uninterested.

"Yeah. I'm an artist, see," the man continued on, though with little necessity as they walked by a horrible smelling room in which Dib could see life size sculptures of people made out of various kinds of cereal. Dib didn't know that cereal could go bad, but clearly it could if it managed to make the room smell like something died in there.

"Do you mind if I ask why it was so important for you to get these?" the man asked as he picked up a box off the floor.

"Oh... I'm going on a very long trip... I think," Dib explained.

"And you wanted Franken Chokies for that?" he asked.

"Yeah... I mean I guess I didn't need them, but I did want them."

"Are they your favorite?" was the next question, accompanied by a very eager stare.

"I don't know. I mean, I guess they're pretty good,"Dib told him.

"Hm... that's good enough for me." The man said.

Dib couldn't help but frown confusedly, it sounded almost like...

The man picked up a knife and looked at Dib.

"Uhmm..." Dib said and backed away, "you know it's pretty late I really should be going and let you do whatever it is you need to do for your art."

"You're not going anywhere." He lunged at Dib, knife pointed to stab.

Dib leaped with a frightened cry. The knife whistled through empty air.

" _Stay still_."

"I though you just liked cereal," Dib cried out running out of the room, and toppled into one of the cereal sculptures. It fell over and hit the floor with a loud thump, sending bits of _Count_ _Cocofang_ in all directions. The smell was a hundred times worse in such close proximity to the food, something like rotting pork.

Dib discovered why when he looked down and saw a mess of decaying flesh poking out from the layers of cereal.

With several more scrambles he ran to escape the house, but the front door was locked and the cereal/serial killer grabbed him before he managed to get it open.

"Let go," Dib yelled and kicked at him. The killer dropped him and Dib, having his flight response halted, attacked him.

He kicked and punched and at one point the knife ended up in his had and he was driving it into flesh until there was no movement.

The house was silent.

Dib backed away from the body on the floor and then turned and ran again to the door, getting it open and running outside.

His hand shook. Blood still stuck to him in so many places. But he looked down and found he still had the _Franken Chokies_ in hand.

"Yes!" he said triumphantly and held the box to the heavens. At least he got something out of this.

He took a step and tripped, the box went flying and landed in a mud puddle.

"Seriously, what the hell?" Dib snarled, staring at the soaked cardboard.


	8. Chapter 8 (Fluff)

Dib returned to Zim's base, clutching a box of _Count_ _Cocofang_.

"What took you so long, Dib-beast?" Zim asked walking in from the kitchen.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Dib muttered irately and tossed the box onto the couch before slumping down on it.

"You had bad day?" Zim asked, approaching him on the couch.

"Heh... 'bad day' would be a gentle way to describe it," Dib told him.

Zim slid onto the couch next to him and leaned against his shoulder. He sniffed suddenly and turned his head to run his tongue along Dib's neck.

The contact was unexpected and Dib let out a little gasp, pulling away. "Zim," he whined.

"You smell of blood," Zim murmured and leaned his face against Dib's shoulder again.

"Yeah well... I killed a man," Dib told him. "I think." He inhaled a shuddering breath

Zim;s antennae stood up and he grinned. "You killed a man?"

"Yes. And I'm not proud of it," Dib pulled away again, not wanting to be admired for killing somebody.

"It's okay," Zim said softly. "Zim has killed many people." He pulled at Dib's arm, eventually claiming his hand and held it. "It is in Zim's programming."

"Yeah... okay, Zim," Dib said and wanted to pull away again but the gentle affection the Irken was displaying made him hesitate. Instead he leaned against his apparent partner.

"It'll be okay," the Irken nibbled on Dib's ear but didn't press for any more intimate attention.

Lazily, unmotivatedly, Dib picked up a hand and rested it on top of Zim's head.

Agreeably, the Irken shifted to lean against Dib's chest and closed his eyes. He hummed softly, enjoying the feeling of warm skin and muscle againt his temple.

Fingera moved from the top of the head to the lekku, gently following the curve.

A deep purr followed, and Zim pressed his head more against Dib's chest.

They stayed there, sitting together for a long time, Dib gently stroking the lekku, and Zim appearingly loving every minute of it.


	9. Chapter 9

Zim got off the couch and ran his claws along his lekku, smoothing them down.

"Dib-beast... my preparation should be done by tomorrow," he said softly. "We must go then, so I'd recommend you go and say goodbye to any of the filthy stink-beasts you want. And gather any personal belongings you'll need."

With that the irken marched off to the elevator and descended into the depths of his base.

Dib watched him go, feeling empty inside. He had to say goodbye to his loved ones. He stood up ready to go and almost walked out the door, but stopped.

Loved ones? Did Gaz count? Or his father?

He supposed it wouldn't hurt to say goodbye either way, so he left Zim's base and headed back towards home.

When he got there, Gaz was on the couch, playing her Gameslave like always.

"Gaz," he said.

"I swear, Dib, if this isn't important I will make you wish you were never born," was her overly aggressive response.

"Uhm... I guess it is. I'm going with Zim for a while so I won't be around."

"What did you two do? Make up?" she asked.

"Sure. Something like that," he said and then went up to his room.

He looked around at the clutter. The piles of investigative equipment and notes... all of it was useless if he... went with Zim...

This was getting too confusing. Were they friends? Or probably something more considering, but they were enemies. Mortal enemies eternally locked into a competition for planet Earth. What could have possibly gotten into Zim's head that he just up and decided that didn't matter anymore.

He had found out that Zim wasn't really on a mission to destroy Earth. At least not by his tallest. Perhaps Zim had realized this...? THen again, he had said his Tallest needed him elsewhere. Whatever it was, he supposed it didn't matter.

He picked up a backpack and folded in a couple spare clothes. And considered along moment before grabbing a camera. If Zim no longer cared about the Earth, he probably wouldn't care if there were photos. And even so, there had to be interesting things in space he would see. He went back downstairs and raided the kitchen for any other food, the idea of eating nothing but cereal kind of horrified him. So he grabbed a can of Poop and a Poop candy bar, but there wasn't anything else convenient enough to carry. So he let that be that.

He paused another long moment to seriously consider if there was anything else he wanted to do before going, but his father probably would be too busy to tell him anyways.

So he had nothing else to do. He was outside, on most of the sidewalk when he remembered, suddenly, about the ship. Tak's ship. It'd been repaired a for a while now, but he wasn't confident in his piloting and navigational abilities to take it out into space.

But it was of interest, if Zim was bringing him along. He'd have to ask the Irken if there was use of it.

for now, he'd just have to head back and see if there was anything Zim wanted or needed him to do.


	10. Chapter 10 (Flight Lessons Part 1)

The main room of Zim's base was dark as Dib entered. Some light came in through the window, but only basked a bit of the floor in some orange-y quadrilateral forms.

Gir was curled up on the couch, snoozing happily.

Dib walked by, being as quiet as he could. While Gir wasn't entirely useless and incompetent, he didn't really want to listen to the screeching nonsense that came out of him. Especially right now.

He found Zim again working on the voot cruiser, the tips of his lekku peaking out the top.

"Uh... Zim?" Dib asked.

The lekku twitched in response before the irken head appeared above the cockpit. "Yes, Dib-thing?" His eyes were surprisingly calm, not their usual aggressive and hostile selves.

"So, you remember Tak, right?" Dib asked.

The response came out in a low growl. "Yes. I do."

"You remember her ship right? Like the one that I modified and rep-"

"I do remember the Dib-shit ship," came an even lower growl. "Somehow even more annoying than the original," he grumbled off and went back to yanking something out from under the dash in his cruiser.

"I still have it... and I managed to get most of the trash smell out of it. Is it in any way useful?" Dib asked.

"Maybe as a trash-can," came another grumble and Zim threw something over his shoulder, which hit the wall with a louder-than-expected thump for what looked like a piece of plastic.

"But you know, it can fly and everything right? It just needs fuel or something. I just haven't been able to figure-"

"It needs no fuel, just someone not completely incompetent. Zim can fix it." There was currently a loud screeching noise from where Zim was working, but all Dib could see was a bright, welding-torch-like light.

There was an almost triumphant final snappig sound and th elight vanished before Zim's head popped back up from where he'd been working. Then a clawed hand reached down and grabbed Dib's shirt and yanked him in.

Dib let out a startled cry as his face suddenly met the floor of the cockpit. "Zim!" he protested and right himself, pulling his feet in just before the glass dome shut.

"What? Did you not want me to look?" came an annoyed response.

"I could've just, you know, climbed in," Dib said as the cruiser lifted and then flew from the open roof.

"That would've wasted time," Zim huffed. Dib saw the landscape underneath go by, as he had to awkwardly situate himself in the cockpit. It wasn't exactly made for tall human forms, after all. And he could see Zim's hunched neck as well and wondered if he was at all comfortable as his hands worked the controls. He didn't have to see the buttons and levers in order to steer, muscle memory being enough by itself.

Maybe Zim was right. Perhaps Dib wasn't as good of a pilot as him. But he wouldn't let the irken know that.

They reached Dib's house in under a minute, an interstellar travel capable vehicle more than a little faster than walking. It almost annoyed Dib he had spent so much time walking around.

Zim plopped his ship down on the back lawn and opened the cockpit back up. Dib clambered out after Zim, who had no trouble in agilely hopping down.

Before Dib could tell Zim where the ship was, Zim had already weaseled underneath the garage door and dove head first into the cockpit, feet sticking out as he messed with something underneath that Dib couldn't see.

Dib pushed the garage door open enough he could comfortably walk in and found Zim already having ripped something out of the sensitive electronics in the ships belly.

"Hey!" he protested and picked up the same plastic-y looking thing Zim had ripped out of his own, it was even the same color and had the same irken armada logo on it, followed with what looked like some kind of warning written in irken text. Dib had ot wonder what it was. The majority of Tak's ship was nothing like what Dib had been able to see of Zim's, so a part that was exactly identical felt strange to him. Perhaps it was some kind of power source that only came in one form. Or a hard-drive or something. Regardless, he put it carefully on a workbench.

"You filthy huuman-" Zim was grumbling in a mixture of English and Irken profanities and there was more loud screeching sounds, accompanied by bright light. this time Dib could tell the invader was fusing something else into the mess of electronics down there. He finished with the same triumphant snapping sound as the electronics got pulled back into the inner workings of the ship and the compartment closed.

"Okay, Dib-thing," Zim said and flopped back into the pilot seat. "You need to know how to start this thing first." The irken pointed to a button Dib had tried unsuccessfully to figure out what it did. "This is the thing that starts it. Does your pathetic human brain understand this?"

"But," Dib started, going to explain that he'd tried that one, many, many times.

"It starts it," Zim snapped. "This," he pointed ot the button Dib had long believed to be the starting button, "boots up the computer. You press this, then this." Zim demonstrated and the ship purred alive, the console lit up with all the different confusing irken texts and icons.

"Oh," Dib said as he recognized the feeling of being on what felt like a boat, like all the irken ships when they first took off.

Zim let out a long sigh. "While I don't particularly want to draw attention to ourselves, it may be useful to cart this along. Even if it is just to shove oyu in here when you get too annoying..." he trailed off and then hit the ignition button again and the ship lighted back down onto the garage floor. "If that's the case though I should teach you how to pilot it- though I'm sure your pathetic huuman skills will be undeserving of the term- 'pilot.'"

Zim was mean, but the idea of being to actually understand what his hands were doing on the controls was more than enough to set aside any offense Dib took at the insults.

"I would love to learn how to fly this thing," Dib said excitedly. "It would be amazing to be able to fly about in space," he went on and took a couple steps back to get outside and stare at the sky, but clouds hid the stars, and he couldn't help but feel a bit let-down.

* * *

Author's note: So fun fact, I also have a pat reon. If you have any interest in looking at my original works or animations you can check it out- my author-y name thing is still KamiKitty so /kamikitty after the com in the url.

Hope you're all well and good, the cold season is coming. Had to control myself today when I heard Christmas music. But regardless, have fun with my writing. Anyway you want, that's why it's there you know. ;) 😉


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